Weight Watchers Week 3D

Last night I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting. Let's just say it didn't go as smooth as a Jamba Juice spill on satin sheets. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised there was no snack table. Not a single Girl Scout cookie in sight. Tis the season for Thin Mints!

The moment I walked into the dusty VFW I immediately recognized the checkout lady from the corner package store on my street. Sometimes I stroll down there for a midnight bag of Chips Ahoy or a sixer of hard Lemonade- when I need to relax! Nothing like cracking open a Mike's in the tub while BNL is blasting through my shower radio. She smiled and motioned for me to sit next to her. She told me her name was Carol and welcomed me to the meeting. 

Carol has been doing Weight Watchers for almost ten years. It has helped her maintain her goal weight through three kids, a nasty divorce and an even-nastier re-marriage. Now thats a role model! She was actually surprised to see me there, explaining that I didn't have much "junk in my trunk to haul to the yard." I told her that, actually, I'm here to gain weight. And she laughed! And I laughed! It was a great laugh session until I told her bold faced, seriously, I'm here to gain 300 pounds. Well, its 272 to go now. She asked why. I told her about the bed. She didn't get it. Almost in a mad teacher voice, she asked why I would ever want to to that to myself, and why wouldn't I just get a body pillow, or I don't know, a boyfriend. And I laughed! And she didn't. So I wished her well and we parted ways. 

I thought the Weight Watchers community would be as welcoming as the circus to a recent teenage runaway, regardless of how far they had to go to reach their goal. I guess not. Maybe I'll continue to count my points in secret. Maybe I'll just track the calories like I was before. Either way, I have to find a new shop to get midnight cookies and malt beverages. 

Weight: 193