200 Pounds!

I can hardly believe it happened! I hit 200 pounds! It was only a month ago that I weighed a mere 170. Through persistence, friendship and a whole lot of transfats; I have reached the first marker of my goal! 30 down, 270 to go!

I'm not going to say it was easy. Eating almost 5000 calories a day is a full time job. That is why I have decided to quit my job and devote my time to gaining this weight! I mean, who needs 401K of anything except semi-sweet chocolate morsels? I figure the best way to monetarily support myself is to get a sponsor. That is why I am reaching out to the fine people at the Kraft Food Corporation. If anyone can pass the following letter along, I'd appreciate it!

Dear Mr. Kraft (and the Kraft Family of Products),

Hello- This is Natalie from Boston, MA. You and I have a lot in common. I am a lady. You are a gentleman. I can only assume we both go through more than a dozen cans of Cheez Whiz a day and eat Oreos for breakfast. Therefore it is easy for me to propose a business opportunity. Upon purchasing a queen size bed, I decided to gain 300 pounds to fill it up better. This would be a perfect sponsorship opportunity. (Do you have access to bed frames in the shape of a Philadelphia Cream Cheese box?)
Please contact me ASAP. 

xoxo,
Natalie
781-XXX-XXXX

Weight: 200