You can find me in the club.

When I decided to gain 300 pounds to make sleeping in my queen sized bed more comfortable, I did not take into consideration how much it was going to cost me. Turns out food is expensive! Depending on where you shop, the price of an item could inflate as much as 50%. For example, I live right next to a Shaws. Its super convenient, but extra expensive on the calorie-heavy items such as whipped cream, ground beef and Cheez-Its. They have an excellent reduced price produce shelf where you can get really-nothings-wrong-just-needs-a-good-wash vegetables for 99 cents a package- BUT produce isn't going to help me pack on the pounds.

There is a Marketbasket a half mile away where everything is much more reasonable because of their big box pricing. BUT thats a half mile away! I don't want to worry about expending extra calories to just get a dollar off here and there. What store would be worth that kind of expenditure? It would have to be huge. And the portion sizing would be on the super-sized scale. I'd also like to be able to buy pre-made birthday cakes by the dozen. Does such a heaven exist? Yes. Medford BJ's Wholesale Club.

When I first walked into this miraculous establishment it was like entering that big world level in Mario. I recognized all the name brands and logos, but these boxes were not built for humans- they were built for giants! One 60 oz jar of mustard after the other I became entranced with this beautiful garden of glut! But much like a giant's fortress, BJ's is protected by a fleet of apron clad security. I was greeted by one guard who looked fairly seasick and smelled of taffy. He pointed me to the check in desk where I was given my own BJ's Wholesale Club Card! This means I can return to this beautiful castle of bulk anytime I please! And I will.

My first trip to BJ's cost me $473.87. Most of that is from the hams. Its for the goal! Maybe I should consider getting a corporate sponsor...

Weight: 178