Saint Patrick's Day!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day to all my Irish brethren! Unfortunately, I don't have a drop of Irish blood in me, unless, of course you count all that black pudding I ate with breakfast this morning! Or that faulty transfusion. Like most holidays, Saint Patrick's Day is a wonderful opportunity to expand one's gastronomical repertoire. For breakfast I ate a traditional Full Irish Breakfast- not just the tea, you know! Two dozen eggs, plump white and black pudding sausages, loaf of larded toast, six fried tomatoes (Its not a fruit or veggie if you fry it!), three cans of beans (roasted traditionally over a hobo's fire), and marinated mushrooms (Its not a fruit if you fry it!)

For lunch and super I have been preparing all day for the most amazing feast of corned beef, cabbage, mashed potatoes, candied carrots and lots and lots of Guinness Cake. However, a problem did arise at about noon time. I totally forgot I'm allergic to oats- and those sausages were packed with them! I never remember because the allergy is usually so mild. And when am I just going to sit down and eat a bowl of cement-like oatmeal!? Common people!

Why did it have to be Saint Patrick’s Day, above all others, that my throat closes up to level so narrow only liquids could squeeze by? I was sure my day would be ruined. But it looks like this little (big) lady has been given a wee bit of the luck o the Irish! Underneath my extra convection oven I found an industrial sized blender! This thing can break down bone! And that’s exactly what I needed. I scraped every last drop of my Irish super into the blender and let it whirl. And boy oh boy- the colors and smells were magnificent! Why didn’t I just do this in the first place?

Once I had my supper in its 10 gallon vat, I scrambled around the house to find a straw (because I’m a lady). Not one could be found! Good thing I had an extra IV from the faulty transfusion! I filled her up and let her rip! I’m reporting now from my brown leather couch just taking the Irish in! Occasionally the chocolate chips clog up in the plastic tube, but it works its way in eventually. The Irish always do.

Weight: 213